Sheaffer: Time Passes

Once upon a time, there was a family of Mom, Dad, and little ones. And once upon a time, while it wasn't quite Father Knows Best, it was a generally happy time of growing up together and doing what Mom and Dad thought was best.

Time passed and the family, unremarkably, didn't remain in a bubble where time didn't impact them. Soon enough, the little ones were adults--at least in their own eyes. (Mom and Dad have a mantra: No matter how old they are, they're still our kids.)

Obviously dynamics and interactions change and adapt and Mom & Dad find themselves relating to the kids as adults and friends. Each adult is busy living his/her own life now, but manage to stay in contact.

Again, time passed. Mom & Dad are now (to the kids it seems suddenly) older. And the kids are beginning to hear them talk about things they haven't before, like retirement, Social Security, Medicare--you know, old people stuff.

And maybe, the kids talk to each other and start thinking about:

When grandma fell and broke her hip..

or

Remember when grandpa had his stroke?

Conversations about things they hadn't even thought about before.

Yeah but grandpa and grandma were...old...

No matter how many times we say it, or in how many ways, we are all getting older. At some point we're going to be in that category that someone somewhere refers to as old, elderly, etc.

So, to the kids: Now what? What are you thinking? Planning a sneak attack meeting with Mom and Dad to talk about what you've decided if something terrible happens? Barrage them with all the information you can find online, at senior centers or senior services--and ask for decisions?

If you're like the majority of us, the aforementioned activities are probably not the plan. It's been said the first step in finding a solution is to identify the problem. And what would that be? Aging? How is it a problem that people are living longer?

Maybe, just maybe, there isn't a problem to attack.

Maybe, it's just the dynamic of realizing that at some point Mom and Dad may need some help. Sounds reasonable (and obvious).

Maybe at this point it's less about them than it is about you. You seeing the present as it is. You having some idea about what's available and helpful when needed.

We can help with that. We can also steer you toward other resources in our communities.

Oh, and guess what? There's no need to tell Mom and Dad they're getting older. They already know--and it's not a problem.

Information & Assistance

Long Beach: (360) 642-3634/(888) 571-6558

Raymond: (360) 942-2177/(888) 571-6557

www.o3a.org